Attention, women of the United Kingdom! You have been living in a bubble where certain seasonal retail behaviour happens every year and has become acceptable. However, I must inform you with regret that your island nation is alone in this strange seasonal behaviour, and it is for good reason that other countries have not joined you. This strange behaviour is the curious need, come late October, to match your outfits to your Christmas tree. To wrap your self in metallic gift wrap, adorn yourself with bedazzling baubles on your necks and feet. To slather one’s eyelids with gunky glittery goop and false eyelashes which you will inevitably regret by 11pm on Xmas party night….This is not acceptable behaviour, it is winter and you are grown women. It is only in the UK that I have seen this extra “party” season squished into the retail calendar to convince shoppers they need to purchase Xmas specific party wear.
Here are 10 reasons to resist dressing like a Christmas tree:
1. Sequins do not last well, you will loose several sequins or beads the first time you wear your Christmas tree dress, or you may even discover them missing on your way home from the shop. Sequins do not socialise well with other winter wardrobe items, they catch on scarves and ladder tights. Sequins tend to be appliquéd on long lines of thread so you will find yourself unravelling at an alarming speed, and the dress then rendered unwearable.
2. Because sequins and beads damage easily these dresses get damaged in the shops and will always be on sale, in huge quantities come January. You will have paid twice or thrice the sale price to wear this item once, if that. This is especially true of shops with high holiday foot traffic like Miss Selfridge and Topshop.
3. Because the sparkle trend is now so overly associated with Christmas you will never wear this outfit again, you will look at it in your wardrobe and think it’s “too Christmas” for other occasions. But come next year you will fall prey to retail advertising once again and decide you need a brand new party outfit…
4. The Great Gatsby trend is SO OVER.
5. You will buy this fancy “party” dress for your work Christmas party, only to discover you are going ice skating or to Winter Wonderland and will not remove your coat once throughout the whole evening.
6. Christmas party dresses naturally look best with Christmas covered sparkly high heels, these are not practical for A) December weather B) the Xmas outings mentioned above, and C) the inevitable state of intoxication associated with Christmas partying .
7. If you go to Karaoke for your work Christmas party you will end up looking like this:
8. You think that a sparkly dress will make you “stand out” but when everyone is covered in glitter you all look like identical Christmas baubles.
9.The current trend for playsuits does NOT work well with party season looks…
10. To summarise, while you may be invited to several social Christmas occasions the majority of them will call for something more casual, Sunday pub lunches and family days would be better suited to tacky Christmas sweaters and luxurious cashmere knits. Do not fall victim to the seasonal glitter curse, step away from the sparkly things!